Her Children Rise Up and Call Her Blessed...

I watched an Oprah episode several years ago where she pulled from the audience random people and profiled their lives. I remember on this particular day she pulled a "retired" homemaker who had finished raising her children and now spent her days volunteering and caring for her home. What really stuck with me was that her original response to being chosen was that her life had nothing that would intrigue others. Just day in and day out ordinary life stuff but when profiled her life told the most beautiful story of self-sacrifice, devotion, peace and most of all love. True to her point nothing "intrigued." No drama, divorce, abuse just plain old fashioned love! This stuck with me primarily because as a young girl I had made a vow that I would live my life in this sacrificial way. I saw in her the heroine I had been searching for.

Each step of our life journey is a choice. Some run down the lane of life with reckless abandon and years later look back and wonder how they ended up at their destination. Others carefully choose each footstep looking up only once in awhile to double check their steps. Somewhere between the two is where I long to be. I tend to be more of a "slow stepper" and sometimes miss the beauty of the path and the freedom of wind blowing through my hair.

I think the Oprah Mom would probably label herself a slow stepper too. But I wonder, although her family sang her praises, raved about her sacrifice, and told of her love, would she retrace those same steps? Is it enough at the end of your life to know those around you rise up pleased, satisfied, and content? Will that be the fulfillment of your life's work? So here I am years later questioning my vow. I question in the way a professional, in a happy but mundane career, might question a potential job change. Distant, weighing risk and benefit, reviewing my resume, considering my talents and weaknesses. Is this where I will find "meaning" and "purpose?" I know in the end however, I will chose as I always have, to stay the course, resolutely trusting in the original goal. I purposely pluck out the arrows of greed and selfishness and instead trust the innocent child I once.